


So Hold Me Close and Hold Me Tight.

by sincehewas18



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 85 and 83, Alternate Universe - Canon, Based on a cute video i saw on facebook, Character Death, Death, Dying Harry, Emotional Hurt, Freeform, Harry Has Cancer, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Larry Stylinson- Freeform, Loosely based anyway, Louis and Harry are old, M/M, Major Illness, No Angst, No Dialogue, Non AU, Non Alternate Universe, One Shot, POV Louis, Relationship(s), Sad Louis, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sappy, Self-Indulgent, Short One Shot, Triggers, dying, it doesn't really have much of a plot, its a super self indulgent drabble, none of the other boys are in it, theres very little anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-23 00:14:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4855955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sincehewas18/pseuds/sincehewas18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Louis doesn't let himself cry. He doesn't. He has to stay strong for his Harry, cant let him know how much he's going to miss him.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>or</p>
<p>Louis sings their song, one last time, before everything stops.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Hold Me Close and Hold Me Tight.

**Author's Note:**

> **Hello, quick disclaimer before you read. This is a work of fiction, meaning none of this has ever happened, it isn't real, and absolutely no offence is intended. Does not reflect upon the real life people mentioned in this story. This story and its characters belong to me, so please don't repost, print, or translate unless authorized by myself to do so, this is all just for fun :)**

The white room is cold, the sounds of multiple machines beeping in synch keep Louis alert. Harry’s warm, wrinkled hand is encased in his own, long since faded tattoos lining up just how they were meant to. Harrys eyes are closed, soft breathes slip through pale lips and its all Louis can hear over his heartbeat thrumming in his ears. 

Louis is staring at the needle IV in Harrys arm from his spot beside harry on the small Hospital bed. Its one of the only things keeping him alive right now, and Louis thinks thats amazing. He also thinks its the worst thing thats ever happened to him

 

The thing is, Louis shouldn't have been surprised when Harry collapsed in their living room last night, it had been a long time coming. Glasses of wine to celebrate their 62nd anniversary shattered on the floor as he fell. Louis had been terrified, getting the phone as quickly as his eighty-four year old legs would allow him to. Shaking fingers dialled 999, and an even shakier voice told the operators whats happened. 

But Harry was okay until then, in a remission for thirty-six years, even. The treatments he received at the age of 47 had worked, he was cured. At least that was what they thought.

The doctors told him mere weeks ago the tumour in his brain had returned un-noticed and grown rapidly, and there was nothing they could do, but that he'd lived a very long life, and maybe its just his time. They told him he had a months, maybe. They were wrong.

Louis had said “Fuck that.” and walked away to be with his husband, to spend all the time they could with each other and they family they had built.

Now their children, all six, have come down from every corner of the country to be in London with him, talking and telling stories whenever Harry would wake for a few brief moments with a smile on his face before he'd eventually fall back asleep.

Almost out of muscle memory, when he arrived to the hospital he reached for his mobile to dial the boys and tell them whats happened. Then he remembered him and harry are all thats left of One Direction. His best friends all gone. Louis wishes more than ever that they could be here with them now. 

The kids have left now, fetching dinner for their own kids, Louis and Harrys grandchildren. Grandchildren Harry wouldn't get to watch grow up into adults, wouldn't get to hold his great-grandchildren. 

Louis doesn't let himself cry. He doesn't. He has to stay strong for his Harry, cant let him know how much he's going to miss him. 

More than sixty years of being ing love with someone does that to you, make you want to put their needs in front of yours and do whatever you can just to make them crack a smile, no matter how weak of one it is.

Harry wakes long enough that night to reminisce on the good old days, touring with the lads, travelling the world with his best friends, the relief they had both felt when they were finally _free_.

Louis lifts his own aged body onto the bed next to his boy, and falls asleep hand in hand with him for what, for all Louis knows, could be the last time.

*

Its the next morning after the nurses have made their rounds and checked on Harry to give him his medicine, that Louis takes him home. The doctor has agreed to let him leave the hospital, an unspoken knowingness in their handshake. 

Harry watches with those familiar green eyes, now slightly milky, and its like they're back in the X Factor house pining endlessly with words unspoken, but loving looks saying all they need.

“Lou, what're you doing over there?” His deep, scratchy voice says impatiently from where he is propped up on the bed. Louis stops packing the suitcase as Harry tries to climb off the bed but Louis stops him. 

“Now dear, don't want to exhaust yourself,” Louis says, and gently lowers him back to the bed, holding his hands to steady him on wobbly legs.

Harry just grumbles as Louis help him slip left leg, then right leg into his pants, and with feeble fingers he helps with the buttons on his shirt too.

*

They're in the car back to their home in the country, they decided to move away from the city after one direction came to an end in 2020 and it became too much. 

They're sat in the back seat, hand in hand, as their driver turns the car into the driveway. 

Louis looks over at Harrys hunched figure and greyed hair. Just as beautiful as when he had met him all those years ago, and when he'd seen him in the crowds on audition day. His memory has started to slip, but the way his stomach had fluttered that day is a feeling Louis will never forget.

Harry squeezes his hand, a silent _I love you_.

He looks so sick, but he still looks like his Harry, short wavy grey hair, plump pale lips, countless promise etched onto now wrinkled skin. 

The promises they made are forever, promises Harry had once said only broke when one of them died. They had laughed and kissed for hours after that. He wishes he could go back and live that moment again.

Louis always hoped it'd be him to go first. It was a young and naive sentiment, he supposes, not wanting to live another day without Harry by his side. 

He guesses now he wont have a choice. He's okay with that, because Harry wont have to be sad ever again, he wont have to watch Louis die and thats all he can hope for at this point.

Anything, he would do, just as long as Harry is happy.

*

Its later that night, they've just got off a conference video call with their grandchildren, Harry had said his last goodbyes to them, fighting back tears. 

Its not like that they knew that it was the last time they would ever see their granddad though.  
Harry had been adamant in not telling them, his reasoning that he didn't want them to feel guilty for not being there in London with them, for spending the day with boyfriends or girlfriends, going to the shopping centres. That was how Harry wanted it. 

He wants their lives to continue on, even if his doesn't.

But their kids, their sons and daughters, all got their own calls. They kept apologizing for not being there, even though they just were yesterday, and that was all Harry could ever hope for. And so they talk about their childhoods, sharing stories of when they would bring home a new sibling from the hospital or adoption centers, concrete scraped knees and primary school footy games.

They talked about it all, so when it was time to say goodbye, it was with reluctance and tears and promises they'll see him again someday. _I love you’s_ were said for the last time as they logged off.

Hours had passed, and Harry and Louis were both completely emotionally wrecked. 

Its three in the morning, and they're not tired. Old age had put them to bed earlier and earlier as time passed, but not today. They had caught a second wind, and were now cuddled up in bed, soft music playing in the background.

“I love you, H.”

“I love you too, sweet cheeks.”

Louis grins at the old nick name, and cuddles closer into Harrys neck when he presses a soft kiss to his own. 

More than sixty-two years of this, and he had never grown tired of it, of Harrys smell, or the way he wraps his arms around Louis. He would always love this. Always.

A familiar song comes on shuffle, its soft melody filling the room.

“Its our song, Lou.” Harry breathes, voice weak.

_I’ve got a heart, and I've got a soul_

Louis begins to sing the soft song, kissing Harry in-between each verse, getting as much of him as he can, getting as close to his soulmate as possible. They don't have long left together, so he is cherishing every moment, every breath, blink, and movement. 

“ _I have loved you since we were eighteen,_ ” Louis sings, almost a whisper.

_All I could do is say that these arms were made for holding you_ Harry nudges a bit closer, arms tensing around Louis, slow breathing barely audible over the music. 

Louis stays strong, he keeps singing the song to the only person he has ever sang it to.

He's glad he doesn't have to be subtle about it this time around though, as sneaky glances and full body turns on stage didn't get the whole message across as well as looking straight into lovely green eyes and holding him tight as the lyrics move from his lips.

But song comes to an end, and the breathing beside him has stopped, no longer soft, just stopped. Green eyes have disappeared behind unflinching lids.

Harry dies listening to Louis’ sing their song, his love snuggled into his chest, and thinks this maybe isn't such a bad way to go.

*

Louis feels weaker, and older than he has in a long time without his other half beside him every day. Its like a chunk of his soul has died with Harry, and now its six feet under ground. 

Louis hates it. He wants Harry back.

*

Its three weeks later, after the funeral has come and gone, and his children have reluctantly agreed to go home, that Louis is listening to eighteen in their bed, gazing at the framed photo of himself and Louis hung on the wall.

The last bouquet of flowers Harry ever brought him from their garden are laying dry and crisp on his nightstand. They're two months old now, but between hospital visits, check ups and then funeral planing, he couldn't bring himself to throw them away.

*

The sheets, however many times they've been washed, still smell like Harry. Louis is glad, it isn't a smell he would ever like to forget, to have fade into his the darkness of his ever aging mind.

Its feels like a lot, this grieving, missing Harry with every fibre of his being, every single second of the day. It takes a lot out of him, he always sleeping, which brings dreams of younger versions of himself and H.

Its bittersweet. 

Everything reminds him of Harry, every object in this house has a memory attached to it.

That night as Louis lays in bed, listening to that same song, humming the last verses softly that Louis stops suddenly.

Everything about Louis stops. His breathing, his heart, his existence.

It all just stops. Everything is black, but Louis is somewhere.

Louis isn't surprised that Harry is waiting there for him in that somewhere though, arms open and glowing and a soft smile on his face. He looks healthy.

He walks into Harrys arms, and they never let go again.

_All I can do is say that these arms were made for holding you_

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this on an inspired whim after i watched video on Facebook of a man sining to his dying wife, and immediately thought of writing it as Louis and Harry. That might be bit morbid, but well, here we are. Hope you liked it :)x you can find me on twitter as @wanderlarrys


End file.
